Seen on the street in Kyiv.

Words of Advice:

"If Something Seems To Be Too Good To Be True, It's Best To Shoot It, Just In Case." -- Fiona Glenanne

“The Mob takes the Fifth. If you’re innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?” -- The TOFF *

"Foreign Relations Boil Down to Two Things: Talking With People or Killing Them." -- Unknown

“Speed is a poor substitute for accuracy.” -- Real, no-shit, fortune from a fortune cookie

"If you believe that you are talking to G-d, you can justify anything.” — my Dad

"Colt .45s; putting bad guys in the ground since 1873." -- Unknown

"Stay Strapped or Get Clapped." -- probably not Mr. Rogers

"The Dildo of Karma rarely comes lubed." -- Unknown

"Eck!" -- George the Cat

* "TOFF" = Treasonous Orange Fat Fuck, A/K/A Dolt-45,
A/K/A Commandante (or Cadet) Bone Spurs,
A/K/A El Caudillo de Mar-a-Lago, A/K/A the Asset., A/K/A P01135809

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Dear Heifers Who Use the Bathrooms in Airports

Look, I understand that you don't want to plop your butts on the toilet seats in airports. Sure, they all have dispensers with paper butt-shields that you can put on the seats, but maybe that technology is beyond your mastery. Or maybe you have a fear that the seat-germs are going to launch themselves through the paper and onto your ass.

Whatever.

But please, for the love of whatever deity you hold to, if you are going to squat over the seat, can you at least lower your ass to an altitude somewhat below SRB separation?* And then, can you at least have the common decency to wipe your piss from the seat?

Because otherwise, it is pretty damn nasty for the next person to use the stall.**
________________________
* 146,000'. OK, I'm exaggerating a tad.
** Earlier today, I used the bathroom at BWI, the one just to the right of the output from the TSA groping station. The stall I walked into looked as though someone had set up a garden sprinkler. There was piss on the seat, on the floor, and on top of the little kotex-trash can. It was pretty goddamn disgusting.

4 comments:

Deadstick said...

In my younger days I cleaned restrooms of both genders. I gotta say, given the choice, I'd prefer the gents...

w3ski said...

My lady says the same thing. Better a discrete tree than a public restroom I guess.
w3ski

Spud said...

Since when does anyone care about the next person ? Our whole way of life is based upon me, myself and especially I !

D. said...

Another example of poor home training.

(I was overjoyed to discover that Ohio and points west have paper seat covers as a matter of course in rest rooms. I keep having to remind myself when I'm in the East that outside of airports, apparently that amenity is rare.)